Determining Communication

Filters that Affect Meaning

Culture

There are many cultural differences that affect the meaning of messages. For example, the American “Come here” hand gesture—where you extend your hand, palm facing up, and curl your index finger toward yourself, can have very different meanings in other cultures. In some places, it’s considered rude or even offensive. In the Philippines and Vietnam, this gesture is used only for calling dogs and is considered rude or demeaning when directed at a person. In some cases, using it toward a person can be punishable by law (especially if used toward authority figures). In Japan, this gesture can be interpreted as being shooed away rather than being invited over.

There are differences between collectivism and individualism in cultures that impact how communication occurs and its meaning. People from Monochronic cultures like the U.S. and Germany that expect strict schedules and time management and those from Polychronic cultures like Latin America and the Middle East that value flexibility and spontaneous interaction can interpret messages very differently.

Sex or Gender

Sex and gender differences can influence how people send, receive, and interpret messages in communication. These differences are shaped by biology, socialization, and cultural expectations. Just like all of these areas of cultural differences, they are based on generalizations that do not fit all individuals.

Men tend to use direct, solution-focused communication and value clarity and efficiency. Women are more likely to use indirect, relationship-focused communication, considering tone, context, and emotions. Without considering this, mistakes can be made about the meaning or intention of a message. (Tannen, 1990)

Women are generally more attuned to nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, tone, and body language. Men tend to focus more on spoken words rather than subtle nonverbal cues. A woman may expect a man to “read between the lines” of her emotions, while a man might assume that if she doesn’t explicitly say something, it’s not an issue. (Hall, 2006)

Women often share problems as a way to express emotions and build connections. Men are more likely to interpret this as a request for advice or a solution. A woman may feel dismissed if a man jumps to solutions instead of listening, while a man may feel confused if a woman doesn’t want advice. (Gray, 1992)

Age

Even within the same culture and gender group, just being of a different age can create misunderstandings. I remember when I was working with high school students, hearing a student tell me that his friend had this really sick bicycle. Before I realized that this was very high praise, I thought it must have been in a terrible accident. Another example is before the word “sucks” was commonly used; a middle school student told my teacher friend that this particular assignment sucked. She was highly offended, and the student only intended to tell her that he didn’t like it.

Emotional State

Emotions play a crucial role in how we perceive, interpret, and respond to messages. Whether verbal, nonverbal, or written, the way a message is understood can be significantly shaped by the receiver’s emotional state, the sender’s emotional cues, and the overall context of the communication.

By the time I reach a human after I have had to battle through the computer-generated responses designed to screen calls that most companies have today, I try to reassure the person that any emotional messages being communicated while I discuss a problem are not meant for them. I know that the emotional tone of my voice can interfere with their understanding of what it is I want to communicate.

The emotional state of the listener or reader also affects how they interpret a message. If we receive a message while in a very good mood, our interpreted meaning of the message may be more open and optimistic. Studies show that people in a negative emotional state are more likely to perceive messages as hostile or threatening, even when they are neutral. (Barrett, 2017)

Personality Style

Personality also plays a significant role in how people perceive, interpret, and respond to messages. Different personality traits influence whether a person sees a message as positive or negative, direct or vague, supportive or critical. For example, an extravert might find short, emotionless emails cold or dismissive. An introvert may feel overwhelmed by rapid back-and-forth verbal exchanges and prefer written communication. (Cain, 2012)

References

1. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
2. Cain, S. (2012). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. Crown Publishing.
3. Gray, J. (1992). Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. HarperCollins.
4. Hall, J. A. (2006). Women’s and men’s nonverbal communication: Similarities, differences, and stereotypes. Review of Communication Research, 6(1), 1-30.
5. Tannen, D. (1990). You just don’t understand: Women and men in conversation. William Morrow.