Assertive Communication Practice
Ken Breeding
Identifying Communication Styles
For each of the statements below, identify what communication style is being used: Aggressive, Passive, Passive-Aggressive, or Assertive.
Statements:
- “I guess I’ll clean up all the toys again since no one else ever helps me.”
- “You always take too long to clean up! I don’t know why I even bother asking you!”
- “I don’t want to bother anyone, but I really wish someone would help me clean up.”
- “I’d really appreciate your help cleaning up. If we work together, it’ll go faster.”
- “Whatever, I don’t even care if we do the activity. It’s fine.”
- “You need to stop interrupting me right now!”
- “I understand you’re excited, but I need you to listen so we can all hear the story.”
Becoming More Assertive
Identify non-assertive messages you experience, either those that are generated by you or that you hear from others around you.
Exercises
For each of these messages, see if you can transform them into more effective, assertive ones.
- Aggressive: “You never listen! Just stop talking and do what I say!”
- The assertive version might be “I need you to listen so I can explain what to do next.”
- Passive: “Oh, it’s fine. I don’t really need help… I guess I’ll just do it myself.”
- This might be changed to “I’d really appreciate your help. Could you take care of this part while I do the other?”
- Passive-Aggressive: “Wow, must be nice to never have to clean up!”
- Rather than sarcasm, this message might be more directly delivered with “I’d like everyone to help with cleaning up so it’s fair for all of us.”
