The Importance of Guidance
Ken Breeding
Guidance may be the most important component of any Child Care or Early Childhood Education program. Safety, traditional curricular components, and pedagogy are important, but it is in our management of children’s behavior that we have the most powerful opportunities to develop social and emotional competencies. These competencies are the most crucial components to achieve all of our ultimate goals in raising and educating children.
Our Ultimate Goals
In workshops and classrooms, educators and parents are often invited to reflect on the qualities and characteristics of an ideal or well-rounded person. Teachers might imagine students returning years later to express gratitude for the role they played in shaping who they became. Similarly, parents often dream about the traits they hope to nurture in their children. These reflections raise an important question: What are our ultimate goals in guiding and raising children?
What adjectives or characteristics would describe such individuals? When groups of educators, parents, and students are asked this question, their responses show remarkable consistency. Across diverse backgrounds, many of the same qualities emerge again and again. The following list reflects traits that are frequently identified across these varied groups.
Examples
- Respectful
- Caring
- Responsible
- Thoughtful
- Dedicated
- Empathetic
- Capable
- Ethical
- Moral
- Perceptive
- Self-motivated
- Persistent
- Honest
- Giving
- Involved
- Creative
- Content
- Innovative
- Courageous
- Humble
- Fair
- Authentic
- Generous
- Balanced
- Grateful
- Compassionate
- Loving
- Accepting
- Independent
- Successful
Interestingly, in discussions of that last trait, “successful,” it was never defined as winning gold medals, having a certain amount of money, or having a certain occupation, but in terms of every individual being able to achieve what was possible for them. Also the word “obedient” came up only once, but after the group’s discussion, the person suggesting it changed their mind.
These goals are remarkably consistent across all religious traditions and have been articulated since the time of Aristotle and Confucius, as well as by contemporary psychology. (Hursthouse, 1999; Peterson & Seligman, 2004; Yao, 2000).
Since the publication of Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence, which was on the New York Times Best Seller list for over 18 months, there has been growing acknowledgement about how critically important emotional and social competence is in all measures of success. In another book, Goleman demonstrated in studies of more than 500 organizations that these skills distinguish success in every field and across positions. (Goleman, 1995; Goleman, 1998)
Even the mission statements of the school districts describe these ultimate goals. One district’s mission was “to create thinking, contributing members of a global society.” A person does not have to know calculus or be able to recite Shakespeare to achieve that goal. The qualities and traits above are definitely needed, however.
Being Purposeful
To achieve these goals, to help children develop these qualities, skills, and traits, requires us to always keep these goals in mind. Stephen Covey reminds us of the importance of “Beginning with the End in Mind.” Unfortunately, most guidance and management of children’s behavior is done reactively. We want children to be honest, but often when they are not, our reactions teach them nothing about the virtues of honesty, but actually invite them to lie more in order to avoid a consequence.
Guidance is the term we currently use in place of discipline, because that word often gets associated with unproductive things like punishment and shame. Discipline, in its truest sense, however, comes from the root word disciple, meaning “to teach or to learn.” Guidance is the intentional process of directing, supporting, and encouraging children’s growth in positive ways, helping them develop those all-important ultimate goals. The most powerful way to teach these skills and ensure the development of these qualities is in all of those “teachable moments” when we have to intervene to manage and guide children’s behavior.
The rest of this chapter will explore the historical perspectives on children that informed discipline and guidance practices in the past and outline the evolution of guidance philosophies.
References
- Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 habits of highly effective people: Restoring the character ethic. Simon and Schuster.
- Goleman, D. (1998). Working with Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books.
- Hursthouse, R. (1999). On Virtue Ethics. Oxford University Press.
- Peterson, C. and Seligman, M. (2004). Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. Oxford University Press/American Psychological Association.
