8 Social-Emotional Development

Social-emotional development encompasses the skills and behaviors that allow children to interact effectively with others and manage their own emotions. This section outlines the key social and emotional characteristics of children in various age groups, providing definitions and examples of specific terminology to aid educators and caregivers in understanding this crucial aspect of development.

Age Groups and Social-Emotional Development Overview

5-7 Years Old

Social Development: Children in this age group begin to form friendships and develop an understanding of social roles. They are often more cooperative and can share and take turns, although conflicts may arise as they learn to navigate social dynamics (Erikson, 1950).

Emotional Development: Emotional regulation improves, but children may still struggle with managing strong feelings. They often express their emotions openly and are learning to label their feelings more accurately.

Key Terminology:

• Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of others. At this age, children start to show empathy, such as comforting a friend who is upset.
• Social Play: Engaging in activities with peers, which helps develop social skills and emotional understanding.

7-9 Years Old

Social Development: Friendships become more significant and complex, often based on mutual interests and shared activities. Children start to understand the importance of teamwork and cooperation in group settings.

Emotional Development: Children in this age range begin to develop a greater awareness of their own emotions and those of others. They start to utilize strategies for emotional regulation, such as deep breathing or talking about their feelings.

Key Terminology:

• Cooperative Play: Play that involves collaboration and teamwork, which is crucial for developing social skills.
• Emotional Intelligence: The ability to recognize and manage one’s emotions and understand the emotions of others.

9-11 Years Old

Social Development: As children enter middle childhood, peer relationships take on increased importance. They begin to navigate more complex social hierarchies and may experience challenges related to group dynamics, such as exclusion or bullying.

Emotional Development: Emotional regulation continues to mature, with children becoming better equipped to handle frustration and disappointment. They start to form a clearer sense of identity and self-worth based on peer feedback.

Key Terminology:

• Peer Relationships: Connections with friends and classmates that influence social and emotional development.
• Self-Esteem: One’s perception of their own worth, which can fluctuate based on social interactions.

Puberty Age (Up to 12 Years)

Social Development: Approaching adolescence, children become more concerned with peer acceptance and social status. They often engage in more complex social interactions and may explore romantic feelings.

Emotional Development: Emotional fluctuations are common as hormonal changes impact mood. Children may experience heightened sensitivity to peer opinions and increased self-consciousness.

Key Terminology:

• Identity Formation: The process of developing a sense of self, influenced by social interactions and personal experiences.
• Adolescent Development: Refers to the transition phase where children begin to exhibit more mature social and emotional behaviors.

Theoretical Considerations

Freud’s Id, Ego and Superego

Sigmund Freud’s Id, Ego, and Superego are the three parts of the human psyche that shape personality and behavior. These components work together, sometimes in conflict, to influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts. Freud believed that human behavior is driven by unconscious desires and internal conflicts, and these three parts of the psyche help explain how those forces interact.

The Id is the most primitive and instinctual part of the mind. It operates based on the pleasure principle, seeking immediate gratification of basic urges such as hunger, thirst, and desires. The id is entirely unconscious and does not consider morality, logic, or consequences—its only concern is fulfilling its needs and avoiding pain. For example, a hungry child may cry loudly until fed, or an adult may feel tempted to act impulsively to satisfy a craving.

The Ego develops as the rational and logical part of the mind that mediates between the id’s desires and real-world expectations. It operates on the reality principle, meaning it finds realistic and socially acceptable ways to satisfy the id’s urges while considering the consequences. The ego helps us make decisions, solve problems, and balance competing demands. For example, if someone is hungry but knows they can’t eat immediately, the ego helps them wait patiently instead of acting impulsively.

The Superego represents the moral conscience and is shaped by societal values, rules, and parental influence. It strives for perfection, enforcing feelings of guilt or pride based on a person’s actions. The superego opposes the id’s impulsive desires and pushes the ego to make morally and ethically sound decisions. For example, if someone is tempted to cheat on a test, their superego may make them feel guilty, urging them to do the right thing instead.

These three components constantly interact. The id seeks pleasure, the superego enforces morality, and the ego balances the two to navigate the real world effectively. When these forces are out of balance, a person may experience inner conflict, leading to anxiety or psychological distress. Freud’s theory helps explain human behavior and personality, particularly in understanding how unconscious forces shape decision-making and emotional struggles.

Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development

Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development is a widely recognized framework for understanding human growth across the lifespan. Expanding on Freud’s psychodynamic approach, Erikson emphasized the influence of social interactions and cultural factors in shaping personality (Erikson, 1950). His model consists of eight stages, each characterized by a central conflict that must be resolved for healthy psychological development. These conflicts, such as trust vs. mistrust in infancy and integrity vs. despair in old age, contribute to an individual’s sense of self and ability to form meaningful relationships (Erikson, 1968). Successfully navigating these stages leads to the development of essential virtues, including hope, autonomy, and wisdom. Erikson’s theory remains a cornerstone of developmental psychology, offering valuable insights into identity formation, personal growth, and emotional well-being.

Erikson’s Stage Theory in its Final Version

Erikson’s Stage Industry vs. Inferiority

In Erikson’s Industry vs. Inferiority stage, which occurs between ages 6 and 12, children develop a sense of competence through school, social interactions, and skill-building activities (Erikson, 1950). Success in this stage comes from mastering academic tasks, developing problem-solving abilities, and receiving positive reinforcement from teachers, peers, and parents. When children feel capable and encouraged, they gain a sense of industry, fostering confidence and motivation to achieve goals. However, if they experience repeated failure, criticism, or lack of support, they may develop inferiority, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Successfully navigating this stage helps children build perseverance and a strong work ethic, which are crucial for future success.

Erikson’s Stage Identity vs Role Confusion

Erik Erikson’s Identity vs. Role Confusion stage is the fifth stage in his psychosocial development theory, occurring during adolescence (ages 12-18). This stage is a crucial period in which teenagers explore their sense of self, values, beliefs, and future goals. The primary challenge during this time is developing a clear and stable identity, which includes personal values, career aspirations, relationships, and a sense of belonging.

Adolescents experiment with different roles, interests, and social groups to figure out who they are and where they fit in. They may try out different hobbies, change their style, or question societal norms and family expectations. When they successfully develop a strong sense of self, they gain confidence, direction, and purpose in life. However, if they struggle with conflicting roles, feel pressured to conform, or fail to establish a clear identity, they may experience role confusion, leading to insecurity, uncertainty, and difficulty making decisions about their future. A healthy resolution of this stage sets the foundation for strong self-awareness, independence, and stable relationships in adulthood.

Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development

Lawrence Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development explains how people develop moral reasoning over time. He proposed that moral development occurs in three levels, each containing two stages, progressing from basic, self-centered thinking to more advanced, ethical decision-making based on universal principles. His theory builds on Jean Piaget’s work and focuses on how individuals justify their moral choices rather than just the choices themselves.

Level 1: Preconventional Morality (Childhood)

At this level, morality is based on external consequences rather than internal values.

Stage 1: Obedience and Punishment – Children behave morally to avoid punishment. Right and wrong are determined by what leads to punishment.

Stage 2: Self-Interest (Instrumental Relativism) – Moral decisions are based on personal rewards and benefits. The idea of fairness and “what’s in it for me?” dominates thinking.

Level 2: Conventional Morality (Adolescence and Early Adulthood)

At this level, morality is influenced by social approval and maintaining order.

Stage 3: Interpersonal Relationships (Good Boy/Good Girl) – People seek approval from others by being “good.” They conform to societal norms to gain acceptance.

Stage 4: Law and Order – Morality is based on obeying laws and maintaining social order. Rules and authority must be followed for society to function properly.

Level 3: Post-Conventional Morality (Adulthood, If Reached)

At this highest level, morality is based on abstract principles and ethical values rather than societal rules.

Stage 5: Social Contract – People recognize that laws and rules exist for the common good but can be changed if they are unfair. Morality is based on justice and human rights.

Stage 6: Universal Ethical Principles – Moral reasoning is guided by deeply held ethical values, such as equality and justice, even if they conflict with laws. Individuals act according to their conscience, regardless of consequences.

Not everyone reaches the post-conventional level, as it requires advanced critical thinking and a strong sense of personal ethics. Kohlberg’s theory helps explain how people’s moral reasoning evolves over time, shaping their decisions and actions in society.

Carol Gilligan’s Ethics of Care Theory

Carol Gilligan expanded on Lawrence Kohlberg’s theory of moral development, offering a feminist perspective that challenged his male-centered approach. She argued that Kohlberg’s research primarily focused on male subjects and emphasized justice-based morality, which prioritizes rules, laws, and principles. Gilligan believed that this overlooked the way many women approach moral decision-making, which is often more focused on care, relationships, and responsibility to others rather than abstract principles of justice.

Gilligan proposed her own Ethics of Care Theory, which suggests that moral development follows a different path for women. Instead of progressing through Kohlberg’s justice-oriented stages, she argued that women move through three stages of moral development: Selfishness (caring for oneself), Conventional Morality (caring for others), and Postconventional Morality (balancing care for self and others). She believed that moral reasoning is deeply connected to relationships and that ethical decisions often involve empathy and compassion rather than strict rules. Her work helped broaden the understanding of moral development, highlighting how different perspectives shape ethical decision-making in both men and women.

Sociometric Assessment

Sociometric assessment is a method used to measure social relationships, peer status, and group dynamics within a specific setting, such as a classroom, workplace, or social group. It helps identify patterns of social interaction, friendships, group cohesion, and social hierarchies by gathering data on how individuals perceive and interact with one another. This method is commonly used in psychology, education, and social sciences to understand social behavior and improve group dynamics.

In a sociometric assessment, participants may be asked to nominate peers they prefer to work, play, or interact with, as well as those they may dislike or avoid. The results can categorize individuals into different social roles, such as popular, rejected, neglected, controversial, or average. This type of assessment is valuable for teachers, psychologists, and counselors in identifying children who may be socially isolated, at risk for bullying, or struggling with peer relationships. By analyzing these patterns, interventions can be designed to promote social inclusion, improve teamwork, and support positive social development in various environments.

Bandura’s Concept of Self-Efficacy

Albert Bandura’s concept of self-efficacy refers to an individual’s belief in their ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish tasks. It plays a crucial role in shaping motivation, behavior, and resilience. According to Bandura, people with high self-efficacy are more likely to set challenging goals, persist through difficulties, and recover from setbacks, whereas those with low self-efficacy may avoid challenges, give up easily, and doubt their abilities.

Self-efficacy is influenced by four key sources:

1. Mastery Experiences: Successfully completing tasks builds confidence, while repeated failures can lower self-efficacy.
2. Vicarious Experiences: Observing others succeed, especially those similar to oneself, can strengthen belief in one’s own abilities.
3. Verbal Persuasion: Encouragement from others, such as teachers, coaches, or peers, can boost confidence in one’s skills.
4. Emotional and Physiological States: Managing stress and emotions effectively can enhance self-efficacy, while anxiety and self-doubt can weaken it.

Bandura’s self-efficacy theory is widely applied in education, psychology, sports, and personal development, as it influences how people approach learning, performance, and problem-solving. By developing self-efficacy, individuals can increase motivation, improve resilience, and enhance overall success in various aspects of life.

Carol Dwek’s Growth Mindset

Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset theory explains how people’s beliefs about intelligence and abilities shape their motivation, learning, and success. According to Dweck, individuals generally have either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset, which influences how they respond to challenges and setbacks.

People with a fixed mindset believe that intelligence and talent are unchangeable traits—they think they are either naturally good or bad at something, and effort won’t make much difference. As a result, they often avoid challenges, fear failure, and give up easily when faced with difficulties. In contrast, individuals with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. They embrace challenges, see mistakes as opportunities for growth, and remain motivated even when faced with obstacles.

Dweck’s research has had a significant impact on education, business, and personal development. Encouraging a growth mindset in students and employees can lead to greater resilience, higher achievement, and a love of learning. Strategies like praising effort over natural ability, reframing failure as a learning opportunity, and promoting persistence help foster a growth-oriented approach to challenges.

Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation are two key types of motivation that drive human behavior. The main difference lies in the source of motivation—whether it comes from within the individual or from external factors.

Intrinsic motivation comes from internal rewards, such as personal satisfaction, curiosity, or a genuine interest in an activity. When someone is intrinsically motivated, they engage in a task because they find it enjoyable, meaningful, or fulfilling, rather than for a tangible reward. For example, a student who loves reading and explores books for pleasure is intrinsically motivated, as is an artist who paints purely for self-expression. Intrinsic motivation often leads to greater creativity, persistence, and long-term engagement in activities.

Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from external rewards or pressures, such as money, grades, recognition, or avoiding punishment. In this case, individuals perform a task not because they enjoy it, but because they seek a reward or wish to meet an expectation. For instance, a student studying to earn a high grade or an employee working harder to receive a bonus is driven by extrinsic motivation. While extrinsic rewards can be effective in boosting short-term performance, they may not sustain long-term motivation unless they also support intrinsic motivation.

Both types of motivation are important, and they often work together. For optimal growth and success, it is beneficial to balance extrinsic rewards with intrinsic interest to maintain motivation and engagement over time.

Social-Emotional Health in School-Age Children

Brain Development and Key Neurotransmitters

Social-emotional health in school-age children is shaped by brain development and the regulation of key neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. These chemicals influence emotions, motivation, social bonding, and stress responses.

A neurotransmitter is a chemical messenger that transmits signals between nerve cells (neurons) in the brain and throughout the body. These chemicals play a crucial role in regulating various functions, including mood, emotions, learning, motivation, and bodily processes like heart rate and digestion. When a neuron is activated, it releases neurotransmitters into the synapse (the small gap between neurons). These neurotransmitters then bind to receptors on the next neuron, triggering a response. After delivering their message, neurotransmitters are either reabsorbed through a process called reuptake or broken down by enzymes.

There are many types of neurotransmitters, each with a specific function. Dopamine controls motivation, reward, and focus, while serotonin regulates mood, emotions, and sleep. Oxytocin promotes bonding, trust, and social connection, and endorphins reduce pain and stress, creating feelings of pleasure. Other important neurotransmitters include GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid), which calms the nervous system and reduces anxiety, glutamate, which is essential for learning and memory, and acetylcholine, which supports learning, memory, and muscle movement. Imbalances in neurotransmitters can contribute to mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD, but maintaining healthy habits like exercise, good nutrition, sleep, and social interaction can help regulate these chemical messengers.

Neurotransmitters are produced in various parts of the brain, depending on their function. The dopaminergic system, responsible for producing dopamine, originates in areas like the substantia nigra and ventral tegmental area (VTA) in the midbrain. Serotonin is primarily produced in the raphe nuclei, a group of neurons located in the brainstem. Oxytocin is created in the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland, influencing social bonding and trust. Endorphins, which help relieve pain and stress, are produced in the pituitary gland and hypothalamus as well. The production and release of neurotransmitters are tightly regulated by the brain’s neural circuits, ensuring balance and proper communication between neurons to support emotional and cognitive function.

Brain Development and Social-Emotional Growth

During childhood (ages 6-12), critical brain regions develop that affect emotional regulation, social skills, and behavior:

• Prefrontal Cortex: This area, responsible for self-control, decision-making, and emotional regulation, is still developing, making it harder for children to manage impulses and emotions.
• Limbic System: The amygdala (which processes emotions) and hippocampus (which aids memory) play key roles in how children react to social situations and stress.
• Neural Connectivity: Strengthening connections between the prefrontal cortex and limbic system improves emotional regulation and social interactions over time.

Key Neurotransmitters and Their Role in Social-Emotional Health

Dopamine: The Motivation and Reward Chemical

Dopamine helps regulate motivation, learning, and pleasure:

• It is released when children accomplish tasks, receive praise, or experience success, reinforcing positive behavior.
• It plays a key role in attention and focus, impacting academic performance and social interactions.
• Low dopamine levels can contribute to lack of motivation, difficulty focusing, and emotional dysregulation, which are often seen in conditions like ADHD.

Serotonin: The Mood Stabilizer

Serotonin influences mood, emotional balance, and social behavior:

• Healthy serotonin levels promote calmness, emotional stability, and positive social interactions.
• Low serotonin levels can lead to mood swings, anxiety, and trouble handling stress.
• Sleep, nutrition, and exposure to sunlight can help regulate serotonin production.

Oxytocin: The Bonding and Trust Hormone

Oxytocin plays a key role in social bonding, trust, and emotional security:

• It is released during positive social interactions, physical touch (like hugs), and acts of kindness, strengthening relationships.
• High oxytocin levels promote feelings of safety, connection, and empathy, which are essential for healthy friendships and parent-child relationships.
• Low oxytocin levels can make social interactions more stressful and contribute to difficulty forming close relationships.

Endorphins: The Natural Stress Relievers

Endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers and stress reducers:

• They are released through physical activity, laughter, and positive experiences, promoting feelings of happiness and reducing stress.
• High endorphin levels help children cope with challenges, build resilience, and experience joy.
• Low endorphin levels can lead to increased stress, irritability, and difficulty managing emotions.

How These Factors Influence Social-Emotional Health

• Positive relationships and social interactions (friendships, family bonding, acts of kindness) boost oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, improving emotional well-being.
• Physical activity, laughter, and play increase dopamine and endorphins, helping with mood regulation and stress relief.
• Stress, trauma, or social isolation can disrupt neurotransmitter balance, leading to anxiety, mood swings, or difficulty forming relationships.
• A healthy lifestyle (balanced diet, sleep, and exercise) supports neurotransmitter function and emotional stability.

Supporting Healthy Social-Emotional Development

• Encourage friendships and social bonding activities to boost oxytocin and serotonin.
• Provide praise and positive reinforcement to enhance dopamine and motivation.
• Promote physical activity, outdoor play, and laughter to increase endorphins and overall happiness.
• Teach emotional regulation techniques (deep breathing, mindfulness) to strengthen brain function and manage stress.

By understanding how brain development and neurotransmitters influence social-emotional health, parents and educators can help children build strong emotional regulation, healthy relationships, and resilience.

Contextual Impacts

Outside resources play an integral part in the growth of our social and emotional development. Although many varied elements affect how a school-age child develops, here are just a few contextual impacts to consider.

Cell Phones and Dopamine

Cell phones have a powerful impact on the brain, especially through the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, motivation, and reward. Every time a person receives a notification, a like on social media, or a message, the brain experiences a small dopamine surge, reinforcing the behavior and creating a cycle of continued phone use. This system is similar to the brain’s response to other pleasurable activities, such as eating or exercising, but the instant gratification provided by smartphones can make them particularly engaging. The unpredictability of notifications and social media interactions enhances this effect, as the brain craves the next reward, much like in gambling. Over time, excessive phone use can alter dopamine pathways, making it harder to focus on tasks that do not provide immediate rewards.

This constant stimulation can lead to addiction-like behaviors, where people feel compelled to check their phones even when it interferes with daily life, work, or relationships. Similar to substance addiction, excessive phone use can create tolerance, meaning people may need more screen time to achieve the same level of satisfaction. If access to their phone is restricted, some individuals may experience withdrawal symptoms, such as anxiety, irritability, or restlessness. This overuse can negatively impact mental health, contributing to increased stress, decreased attention span, and disrupted sleep patterns due to excessive screen exposure, particularly before bedtime. While cell phones provide numerous benefits, mindful usage and setting boundaries, such as limiting notifications or implementing screen-free time, can help maintain a healthy balance and prevent overreliance on dopamine-driven digital rewards.

Video Games and Neurotransmitters

Video games have a significant impact on neurotransmitter release and brain activity, particularly through the stimulation of dopamine, serotonin, and other neurotransmitters associated with reward, motivation, and emotion regulation. The way video games affect neurotransmitter systems can vary based on the type of game, how long someone plays, and the context of the gaming experience.

Dopamine and Reward Systems

Dopamine is the neurotransmitter most closely linked to the brain’s reward system, and video games can trigger its release, especially in games that provide frequent rewards, achievements, and challenges. Every time a player completes a level, achieves a goal, or earns a reward, the brain releases dopamine, creating a sense of pleasure and reinforcing the behavior. This reward loop can make video games highly engaging and, in some cases, addictive, as players seek to experience that rush of dopamine over and over. Games with unpredictable rewards, such as loot boxes or puzzle games, can heighten this effect, as the brain craves the “next reward,” similar to gambling.

Serotonin and Mood Regulation

While dopamine is more closely tied to motivation and reward, serotonin plays a role in mood regulation, social behavior, and overall emotional well-being. Multiplayer games, in particular, can stimulate serotonin release by providing opportunities for social interaction, teamwork, and bonding. Positive interactions in online gaming communities, achieving shared goals, or competing with friends can trigger serotonin, enhancing feelings of satisfaction, happiness, and emotional stability. Additionally, games that involve problem-solving, creativity, and exploration—like adventure or puzzle games—can also boost serotonin by helping players experience a sense of accomplishment and mastery.

Stress and GABA Regulation

On the other hand, some video games, especially those involving high levels of competition or stress, can also affect neurotransmitter balance by increasing levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), while potentially reducing GABA, a neurotransmitter that promotes calm and relaxation. Excessive, prolonged gaming, especially in fast-paced or aggressive games, can create a fight-or-flight response, leading to heightened stress. However, games that are relaxing or meditative, like puzzle games or virtual worlds focused on creativity and exploration, can help reduce stress and potentially increase GABA levels, promoting relaxation and calm.

Oxytocin and Social Connection

For games that emphasize cooperation, communication, and teamwork—particularly multiplayer games or virtual worlds—there can be an increase in oxytocin, the “bonding hormone.” Players who form strong social connections, make friends, or experience moments of trust and collaboration within games may experience an increase in oxytocin, which strengthens emotional connections and feelings of attachment. Online communities built around gaming can create a sense of belonging, social interaction, and support, enhancing players’ emotional well-being.

Addiction and Neurotransmitter Imbalance

While video games can have positive effects on neurotransmitter levels, excessive gaming can also lead to neurotransmitter imbalances. Overindulgence in gaming, particularly with games designed to keep players engaged for extended periods (through rewards, competition, or social pressure), can lead to dopamine overstimulation, resulting in an addictive loop. Players may begin to seek the same dopamine rush, and if they don’t get it, they may experience withdrawal symptoms, such as irritability, anxiety, or depression.

In summary, video games can have a profound influence on neurotransmitters, positively enhancing feelings of achievement, connection, and relaxation in some cases, while potentially contributing to stress and addiction in others. Balancing gaming time with other healthy activities and ensuring that games promote positive social interaction and relaxation can help maintain a healthy relationship with gaming and support overall mental well-being.

Integrating the Great Outdoors

Serotonin, Exercise, and Nature

Serotonin is a key neurotransmitter that regulates mood, emotions, and overall well-being, and one of the most effective ways to boost serotonin levels naturally is through exercise and exposure to nature. Physical activity, especially aerobic exercises like running, cycling, and swimming, stimulates serotonin production in the brain, leading to improved mood and reduced stress. Exercise also increases the availability of tryptophan, an amino acid that is essential for serotonin synthesis, further enhancing its effects. This is why people often experience a “runner’s high” or a sense of calm after physical activity. Regular exercise has been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, as serotonin helps regulate emotions and promotes feelings of stability and happiness.

Spending time in nature further amplifies serotonin production, as sunlight exposure plays a crucial role in its regulation. Natural light stimulates the brain to produce more serotonin, which is why seasonal affective disorder (SAD)—a type of depression linked to lower sunlight exposure—occurs more frequently in winter months. Additionally, being in green spaces, such as forests, parks, or near bodies of water, has been shown to reduce cortisol (the stress hormone) and enhance serotonin levels, leading to increased relaxation and mental clarity. Activities like hiking, gardening, or simply walking in nature combine the benefits of physical movement and outdoor exposure, creating a powerful boost for emotional well-being. Prioritizing both exercise and time in nature is a natural and effective way to maintain balanced serotonin levels, leading to better mood, lower stress, and improved mental health.

Oxytocin and Social Bonding Activities

Oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone” or “love hormone,” plays a crucial role in social bonding, trust, and emotional well-being. Certain activities naturally stimulate oxytocin production, strengthening relationships and fostering feelings of connection and security. Physical touch, such as hugging, cuddling, holding hands, and massages, triggers oxytocin release, deepening emotional bonds. Similarly, social bonding activities, like spending quality time with loved ones, engaging in meaningful conversations, and laughing together, help increase oxytocin levels. Even simple acts of kindness, such as giving compliments, helping others, or volunteering, can boost oxytocin and create a sense of fulfillment.

Interacting with animals, particularly petting dogs or cats, has also been shown to release oxytocin, reducing stress and enhancing emotional well-being. Making eye contact during deep conversations strengthens social bonds, while participating in group activities, such as singing, dancing, team sports, or group workouts, fosters unity and cooperation, enhancing oxytocin release. Additionally, practices like meditation, mindfulness, and expressing gratitude can help boost oxytocin by cultivating feelings of love and connection. Giving and receiving affection through words, gestures, or small gifts further strengthens relationships and increases oxytocin levels. Engaging in these activities regularly not only improves emotional well-being but also helps reduce stress, build trust, and enhance overall mental and physical health.

Endorphins and Exercise

Endorphins, often called the “feel-good hormones,” are natural chemicals produced by the brain that help reduce pain, relieve stress, and boost mood. Engaging in certain activities can naturally increase endorphin levels, leading to feelings of happiness, relaxation, and overall well-being. One of the most effective ways to boost endorphins is through exercise, particularly aerobic activities like running, dancing, cycling, and swimming, which can trigger the well-known “runner’s high.” Similarly, laughter, whether from jokes, funny movies, or social interactions, stimulates endorphin production and helps reduce stress. Music and dancing also enhance endorphin release, lifting mood and increasing energy levels.

Certain foods, such as spicy foods and dark chocolate, can also boost endorphins. Chili peppers stimulate pain receptors in the mouth, prompting the brain to release endorphins as a response, while dark chocolate in moderation promotes relaxation. Additionally, meditation, deep breathing, and yoga help release endorphins, reducing stress and improving emotional balance. Spending time in sunlight boosts both endorphins and serotonin, further enhancing mood. Social activities, such as hugging, physical touch, and acts of kindness, also stimulate endorphin production, fostering feelings of comfort and connection. Engaging in creative hobbies like painting, writing, or playing an instrument provides another natural way to increase endorphins and alleviate stress. Regularly incorporating these activities into daily life can significantly enhance mental and emotional well-being, making endorphins a powerful tool for maintaining a positive and balanced mood.

GABA, Relaxation, and Exercise

GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid) is a key neurotransmitter that helps calm the brain, reduce anxiety, and promote relaxation. It plays a vital role in inhibiting neural activity, which helps maintain emotional balance and mental clarity. Several activities can naturally increase GABA levels, contributing to a sense of calm and overall well-being. Regular exercise, especially activities like yoga, tai chi, and aerobic exercises, has been shown to increase GABA production, helping reduce anxiety and promote relaxation. Meditation and focused deep breathing exercises are also effective in boosting GABA levels, calming the mind, and reducing stress.

Engaging in progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery also helps stimulate GABA production, promoting a relaxed state. Spending time outdoors, particularly during nature walks, can have a calming effect on the brain, helping raise GABA levels while reducing anxiety. Listening to calming music or participating in sound therapy is another great way to boost GABA, as it helps create a tranquil environment. Additionally, getting adequate sleep is essential for maintaining balance in neurotransmitter levels, including GABA. Regularly incorporating these activities into your routine can help increase GABA, reducing anxiety and fostering emotional resilience and calm.

Vitamin D and Mood

Vitamin D is an essential nutrient that plays a critical role in bone health, supporting the immune system, and regulating mood and mental health. While vitamin D can be produced by the body when exposed to sunlight, it can also be obtained through certain foods and supplements. Vitamin D deficiency can occur when there is insufficient sunlight exposure or inadequate dietary intake, and it can lead to a variety of health problems. For school-age children and teenagers, the deficiency is particularly concerning, as it can affect growth, bone development, and overall well-being.

The main causes of vitamin D deficiency in children, teenagers, and adults include limited exposure to sunlight, which is common in areas with long winters or for those who spend most of their time indoors, and a diet low in vitamin D-rich foods like fatty fish, fortified dairy products, and egg yolks. Children and teens who follow vegetarian or vegan diets may be especially at risk for deficiency unless they take supplements. Older age, dark skin, and obesity are other risk factors, as the body’s ability to produce vitamin D from sunlight decreases with age or darker skin tones, and vitamin D can be stored in fat tissue in obese individuals, making it less available for the body to use. Certain health conditions, like digestive disorders or malabsorption, and medications that affect vitamin D metabolism can also contribute to deficiency.

The effects of vitamin D deficiency in children and teenagers can be wide-ranging. Bone health is significantly impacted, as vitamin D is crucial for calcium absorption. Inadequate vitamin D can lead to conditions like rickets in children, causing weakened bones and growth issues, while teenagers may develop osteomalacia (soft bones) or osteoporosis (brittle bones). Deficiency can also weaken the immune system, increasing the risk of respiratory infections and potentially contributing to the development of autoimmune diseases. In both children and teens, muscle weakness, chronic fatigue, and body aches are common signs of low vitamin D. Additionally, emerging research has linked low vitamin D levels to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and seasonal affective disorder (SAD), especially during the winter months when sunlight exposure is limited. There is also evidence suggesting that deficiency may impact cognitive function, and in teenagers, it could potentially affect school performance and mood regulation.

To prevent or treat vitamin D deficiency in school-age children and teenagers, it’s essential to ensure they receive adequate sunlight exposure, consume vitamin D-rich foods, and, in some cases, take vitamin D supplements. Since children and teens are still growing and developing, maintaining healthy levels of vitamin D is important not only for their bone health but also for their immune function, mental well-being, and overall development. For those with severe deficiency, high-dose vitamin D supplements may be necessary, along with regular monitoring of their vitamin D levels.

Nature Deficit

Nature deficit refers to the idea that people, especially children, are spending less time in natural environments, which can have significant negative effects on both physical and mental health. As urbanization has increased and digital technology has become a dominant part of daily life, people, particularly children, are spending more time indoors and less time outdoors in nature. This lack of exposure to natural settings can lead to a variety of issues, including increased stress, anxiety, and depression. The term was coined by Richard Louv in his book Last Child in the Woods, where he discusses how the decline in outdoor activities and nature experiences has led to a disconnect between people and the natural world, which in turn negatively impacts emotional well-being, creativity, and overall health.

The effects of nature deficit can be particularly concerning for children, who may face developmental challenges when they miss out on outdoor play and the cognitive, emotional, and physical benefits that come with spending time in nature. Research has shown that children who regularly spend time outdoors have better focus, improved mental health, enhanced immune function, and greater physical fitness. Exposure to nature has been linked to increased creativity, reduced stress levels, and even better academic performance. In contrast, children who lack nature experiences may struggle with emotional regulation, increased risk of obesity, and reduced social skills. Reconnecting with nature—whether through outdoor play, hiking, or simply spending time in green spaces—has been shown to have therapeutic effects, helping to reduce the symptoms of nature deficit and improve overall health and well-being.

Foods that Support Neurotransmitters

Certain foods can support the production and regulation of important neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and GABA, which are crucial for emotional and mental well-being. These neurotransmitters influence mood, stress levels, social bonding, and relaxation. Here’s a breakdown of foods that can help boost these neurotransmitters.

Foods That Support Dopamine

• Protein-Rich Foods: Dopamine is produced from the amino acid tyrosine, which is found in high-protein foods like lean meats, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy, and tofu.
• Bananas: Bananas contain tyrosine, which helps boost dopamine levels in the brain.
• Nuts and Seeds: Almonds, sunflower seeds, and walnuts are rich in tyrosine and other healthy fats that support brain health.
• Green Tea: Contains L-theanine, an amino acid that helps increase dopamine and serotonin levels.
• Dark Chocolate: Dark chocolate stimulates dopamine release, contributing to a sense of pleasure and reward.

Foods That Support Serotonin

• Complex Carbohydrates: Foods like whole grains (oats, quinoa, brown rice), sweet potatoes, and beans help produce serotonin by increasing the availability of tryptophan, the amino acid needed for serotonin synthesis.
• Turkey and Chicken: Rich in tryptophan, which helps in the production of serotonin.
• Nuts and Seeds: Pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, and walnuts contain tryptophan and other nutrients to support serotonin levels.
• Leafy Greens: Spinach, kale, and other dark leafy greens provide essential vitamins and minerals like folate, which is linked to serotonin production.
• Berries: Strawberries and blueberries contain antioxidants and nutrients that promote serotonin production.

Foods That Support Oxytocin

• Dark Chocolate: Eating dark chocolate has been shown to boost oxytocin levels and improve mood.
• Avocados: Rich in healthy fats and nutrients, avocados can support overall brain health and promote the production of oxytocin.
• Berries: High in antioxidants, berries like blueberries and raspberries help with the regulation of oxytocin, especially when consumed as part of a healthy diet.
• Nuts and Seeds: Walnuts, almonds, and flaxseeds provide nutrients that support overall brain chemistry, including oxytocin production.

Foods That Support GABA

• Fermented Foods: Kimchi, sauerkraut, kefir, yogurt, and miso are rich in probiotics, which help support GABA production by promoting a healthy gut microbiome.
• Whole Grains: Foods like brown rice, oats, and quinoa provide magnesium, which plays a role in activating GABA receptors.
• Green Tea: Contains L-theanine, which has calming effects and helps increase GABA levels.
• Almonds: Rich in magnesium, which helps regulate GABA activity.
• Spinach: High in magnesium, spinach helps maintain healthy GABA levels and promotes relaxation.

Foods That Support Both Dopamine and Serotonin

Many of the foods that support dopamine also help increase serotonin levels, as both neurotransmitters are affected by tryptophan and tyrosine. For example, turkey, eggs, nuts, seeds, whole grains, and leafy greens are all beneficial for boosting both neurotransmitters, helping balance mood and emotional well-being.

By incorporating these nutrient-rich foods into your diet, you can support the production and balance of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and GABA, contributing to improved mood, emotional stability, and overall mental health.

Stages of Friendship

Friendship development typically follows three stages, as children and adolescents learn how to form and maintain meaningful social connections. These stages reflect increasing levels of understanding, trust, and emotional depth in friendships.

1. Early (Superficial) Friendship (Stage of Play-Based Friendship)

In early childhood, friendships are often based on proximity and shared activities rather than deep emotional connections. Young children (around ages 3-7) see friends as playmates—someone who is fun to be around. Friendships at this stage are often temporary, based on convenience, and can change quickly. Children may say someone is their “best friend” one day and not the next, as their friendships are fluid and situation-dependent. Conflict resolution skills are still developing, so disagreements may lead to the end of a friendship rather than efforts to repair it.

2. Middle (Mutual Trust and Assistance) Friendship

As children grow (ages 8-12), friendships become more stable and based on mutual interests, trust, and emotional support. At this stage, children begin to value qualities like loyalty, kindness, and reliability in their friends. They start to confide in one another and provide emotional support during difficult times. Conflicts may still occur, but children are more likely to work through disagreements rather than end the friendship immediately. The ability to understand a friend’s perspective (empathy) begins to develop, making relationships more meaningful.

3. Mature (Emotional and Intimate) Friendship

In adolescence and beyond (ages 13+), friendships become deeper, more intimate, and emotionally significant. These friendships are based on shared values, personal identity, and emotional connection rather than just shared activities. Trust and self-disclosure increase, and friends provide one another with guidance, reassurance, and emotional validation. Teenagers and adults begin to appreciate the complexity of relationships, navigate conflicts with greater maturity, and prioritize friendships that align with their personal beliefs and goals. Friendships at this stage often play a crucial role in self-esteem, identity development, and emotional well-being.

These three stages show how friendships evolve from simple playmates in childhood to lifelong emotional connections in adulthood, shaping social skills, personal growth, and emotional health.

Selman’s Five Stages of Friendship

Selman’s Five Stages of Friendship describe the developmental stages of friendship in children and adolescents. These stages focus on how children’s understanding of friendship evolves as they grow older, moving from egocentric views to more sophisticated, empathetic understandings. Selman, a psychologist, identified these stages based on his work with children’s social and moral development.

1. Stage 0: Momentary Playmateship (Ages 3-6)

At this stage, children view friendships primarily in terms of physical proximity and shared activities. Friendships are based on immediate needs, such as playing together or having fun. Children in this stage don’t yet understand that friendships involve deeper emotions or long-term connections. Friendships can change quickly and may be based on simple factors like “We both like the same toy” or “We’re both playing together.”

2. Stage 1: One-Way Assistance (Ages 6-8)

Children at this stage begin to see friendships as a relationship where one person gives something to the other, such as toys, attention, or help. There is still a lack of mutual understanding, and friendships are often one-sided. A child may view their friend as someone who gives them what they want, but they don’t yet consider the other person’s needs or desires. Conflicts can arise when one child feels that their needs are not being met.

3. Stage 2: Two-Way Fairness (Ages 8-10)

At this stage, children begin to understand that friendships are mutual. They realize that give-and-take is important in a relationship and that both individuals have needs and desires that should be respected. Friendships are based on fairness, and children start to consider how their actions affect their friends. However, these friendships can still be somewhat transactional, focused on shared activities and reciprocity. Children start to understand that compromise and conflict resolution are essential aspects of healthy friendships.

4. Stage 3: Intimate, Mutually Shared Relationships (Ages 10-12)

Friendships in this stage are more emotionally intimate and characterized by mutual respect and understanding. Children begin to value loyalty, trust, and emotional support from their friends. There is a deeper sense of empathy and mutual care, and friends start sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and secrets. Conflicts are handled with a higher level of emotional maturity, and children begin to prioritize their closest friendships over casual ones.

5. Stage 4: Autonomous Interdependence (Ages 12 and beyond)

In this final stage, friendships are fully understood as complex relationships that involve both independence and interdependence. Adolescents and young adults recognize that they can maintain their own identity while being emotionally connected to others. Friendships at this stage are built on a deep level of mutual respect and the ability to navigate conflicts while maintaining individuality. These friendships are less likely to be affected by external influences and are based on shared values, beliefs, and long-term emotional support.

Selman’s theory helps explain how children and adolescents gradually move from simple, egocentric views of friendship to more complex, empathetic understandings of social relationships. The stages reflect increasing emotional depth, social understanding, and personal growth in how children interact with their peers.

Bullying in Schools

Bullying is a term often used by adults to describe repeated, unwanted, and aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. While labeling behavior as “bullying” can help adults recognize and respond to harmful interactions, it’s important to understand that not all negative behavior is intentional or meets the criteria for bullying. For an action to be considered true bullying, a child must have the cognitive ability to understand that their behavior can cause harm to others, something that develops gradually with age and brain maturity. In many cases, what appears to be bullying may actually stem from a child’s own experiences of being bullied, witnessing aggression in their environment, or expressing emotional distress. These actions are often a cry for help rather than a calculated attempt to hurt others, and recognizing the underlying causes is key to offering effective support and intervention.

In schools, the term bullying often involves unwanted physical, verbal, social, or online (cyberbullying) behaviors. It as a serious issue and can negatively impact a student’s mental health, academic performance, and overall well-being. While both bullying and unkind behavior can be hurtful, there are key differences.

Difference Between Unkind Behavior and Bullying

For example, if a student makes a rude comment once, that is unkind behavior. However, if a student repeatedly calls someone names, spreads rumors, or excludes them intentionally, it qualifies as bullying. This is a demonstration of planning to cause harm to others with intent.

California Laws on Bullying and Cyberbullying

California has strict laws to prevent and address bullying in schools.

• Education Code 48900(r) – Definition of Bullying
  • Defines bullying as any severe or pervasive physical or verbal act, including written or electronic communications, that causes harm to a student or disrupts their education.
• Education Code 234 (Safe Place to Learn Act)
  • Requires schools to adopt policies to prevent and respond to bullying.
  • Protects students from discrimination, harassment, intimidation, and bullying.
• Cyberbullying Laws (Education Code 48900 & Penal Code 653.2)
  • Cyberbullying includes using electronic communication to harass, threaten, or harm a student.
  • Schools can discipline students for cyberbullying, even if it happens off-campus, if it disrupts school activities.
  • Penal Code 653.2 makes it illegal to use electronic communication to place another person in fear for their safety.
• AB 746 – School Responsibility for Online Harassment
  • Schools must take action against cyberbullying and provide resources to affected students.

What Can Students, Parents, and Schools Do?

• Students: Report bullying to a teacher or counselor, stand up for victims, and avoid engaging in bullying behavior.
• Parents: Monitor children’s online activities, talk to them about bullying, and report incidents to the school.
• Schools: Implement anti-bullying programs, enforce policies, and provide counseling for victims and perpetrators.

California schools are required to investigate and take action against bullying, ensuring a safe learning environment for all students. We recommend, however, getting to know the students prior to reporting their behaviors. There may be additional resources or support needed to help the student being labeled as a bully, causing them to inflict pain on others. Our role is to help and support all students.

Conclusion

Social-emotional development is a vital aspect of childhood that influences how children interact with others and manage their feelings. By understanding the characteristics and milestones of different age groups, educators and caregivers can create supportive environments that foster healthy social and emotional growth.

References

1. Buckley, D., & Budzyna, D. (2017). The Whole Child: Development in the Early Years. Retrieved from CC BY-NC-SA License.
2. California Department of Education. (2000). Ages and Stages of Development: Care About Quality. https://cdasd.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Ages-Stages-2018_web.pdf.
3. Erikson, E. H. (1950). Childhood and Society. W. W. Norton & Company.
4. Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. W. W. Norton & Company.